Intention Through Subtraction

Greetings from Italia! 🇮🇹

Here we are playing in Lucca before venturing to Chianti for our Tuscan Retreat! Being in this incredible country reminds me to do just that: be.

Last Fall, my friend Tali (TT grad and now a sub here at YoYo!) was fresh off the plane from Spain at the start of our Fall Teacher Training. She spoke about how different it felt to spend time in a being culture rather than our doing one. And WOW! How I feel those words so deeply here. 

I've struggled with this concept for so long, confusing being for doing nothing. But the Italians or Spaniards or any place and people brilliant enough to prioritize being are neither lazy nor complacent. That is a misnomer.

Daily life is still very much happening here in Lucca. There's people running laps on the wall before they begin their workday. There's mother's nursing babies and father's taking children to school. There's groceries to be bought, meetings to be attended and taxes to be paid.

Yet there isn't the frantic energy I've become accustomed to back home. There's an absence of disheveled chaos and the wide-eye look of barely hanging on that's so often synonymous with our day-to-day existence. 

Tonight we went to a restaurant my parents first visited 30 years ago on their first trip to Italy. It was my Mom's 40th birthday—the age I am now—and she had never been out of the country. My Dad pulled some major strings and surprised her with a trip to her roots, literally packing her bag and telling her where they were going on the way to the airport...

I digress but it is a memory that will stay with me forever. 

The country stole her heart and da Gherardo, the restaurant they shared with us this evening, stayed in her memory and soul all these years later. We had to go back all together.

The owner, Gherardo, is in his mid-70s now. He's front of house. His wife cooks all the food. It's been like that every night since 1981. That's 45 years of hard work, dedication and purpose.  No laziness or complacency here. 

The difference was in the way he showed up; how his staff interacted with us like family and each other like best friends; how Gherardo's brother and his entire family were seated next to us and Gherardo pulled up a chair to spend time with them; how he was present in every interaction; how nobody was rushed, even us as when we lingered way after the bill was paid. 

There was love. There way joy. There was presence. There was purpose. And I watched it unfold with wonder.

So often in our doing we lose everything listed above. I find great satisfaction in checking off my shopping list in a one-stop store only to get home and realize I forgot to add a few necessary items. I feel great accomplishment with a sparkling clean house only to have my two Aussie Shepards shed obscenely on my newly vacuumed carpet and sticky fingerprints plague my newly shined refrigerator door. 

Finishing tasks is temporary and the list of to-dos will never be completed. Still I try to get them done quickly and now for a fleeting dopamine hit.

The oscillation between productivity and intentionality is a constant in my life, which I think is relatable. When productivity is in the driver seat, I move fast. I forget things, rush my kids, feel ragged and empty. When intention takes center stage, I prioritize what's important and give it my full attention, intention and heart. I look my children in the eye when I speak to them; make nourishing meals for my family and friends; carve out time to write, bake and make art and take deep breaths while communing with the trees. And while this way of being is always fulfilling, I am still constantly pulled toward the push to do more, get it all done, check it all off every single day.

We recently celebrated the Fall Equinox, nature's way of reminding us to slow down and harvest the fruits of the seeds we planted earlier this year. I created this vision board for hope in this new season. It's a call for unhurried mornings and dancing and remembering to sit in wonder; a movement away from optimization and convenience and toward quiet joys and shared meals; it's a time for moon experiences and moss covered forests.

It's inspiration for how to be in the doing. 

A central concept in Taoism, wu wei, or non-doing, tells us the Way is one of effortless action or acting in harmony with the flow of the universe.  Rather than passivity or apathy, it teaches action without ego, anxiety, or force so that we may experience natural alignment, the same way water moves around its obstacles but still arrives at its destination.

Fall is always a welcomed return to that cadence of life. It guides us into depth over speed, the pace of ground, into intention through subtraction. 

Where nothing’s rushed and all is sacred.

With this as our North Star, the question becomes what can you do less of so you can be more? Since you can't do it all, what is essential for your soul's aliveness?

Let’s honor the slowness and beauty synonymous with this time of year. 

We hope to be part of your Autumn, your earth, your harvest. 

MAD LOVE + HAPPY FALL ✌️🧡🍁

K